


Quid pro Quo

by GaleWrites



Category: Firefly
Genre: F/F, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-04
Updated: 2020-04-04
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:40:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23476351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GaleWrites/pseuds/GaleWrites
Summary: Saffron returns with another 'easy' job for the Serenity crew, with interesting resultsSet between Objects in Space and Serenity
Relationships: Kaylee Frye/Inara Serra
Comments: 3
Kudos: 13
Collections: Space Swap 2020





	Quid pro Quo

**Author's Note:**

  * For [rokosourobouros](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rokosourobouros/gifts).



Maybe it shouldn’t have been surprising to get back to Serenity and find his least favorite con artist sitting on her suitcase in the cargo bay, but Mal had never been one for surprises.    
  
“Out.” He told her, not wasting any time on questions or niceties.

Saffron, this time dressed to work in a pair of sensible pants and a tank top juuust short enough to show her midriff, rolled her eyes. “Oh, come on. You don’t even know why I’m here yet.”   
  
“Nor do I want to. Need I remind you that you tried to kill me every time I’ve come into contact with you?”   
  
“Mal, don’t take it so personally. I didn’t even plan on killing you last time. I knew your crew would find you sooner rather than later. I just needed enough time to get away.”   
  
“You took my clothes, Saffron.”   
  
“You took my gun.” She scowled at him.   
  
Zoey took the opportunity to speak up while they glared at each other. “Captain, do you need me to escort her off the ship?”

“Please do.” Mal agreed pleasantly, and walked past Saffron toward the stairs.   
  
“No, wait. Seriously. At the very least, you need to know what I’m here to tell you.” Saffron yelled after him.   
  
“Fine.” Mal replied shortly, turning to face her again. “You have two minutes, and then you have to leave.”   
  
Saffron smiled. “There, see, we can behave like civilized people.”   
  
Jayne laughed, and Saffron glared at him. “Well, not you. I seem to recall you offering to trade your gun for me. Disgusting.”   
  
“You’re wasting your time.” Mal pointed out   
  
“Durran has been trying to track us down since we stole his gun. He didn’t have much to go on, but he managed to find someone who could recognize you from the security footage. Right now he’s more interested in the gun than you, and you’ve already gotten rid of it so he’s been busy tracking your fence. But he’s still got enough evidence stockpiled on every last one of us to put us away for a very, very long time.”   
  
Mal shrugged. “He’s certainly not the only one. The Alliance’ll have to catch us first.”   
  
“And you’ll become a priority.” Saffron told him desperately. Mal couldn’t be sure, but he thought a tiny shade of that desperation might even be real. “Every last one of you. You won’t be able to legally dock on any Alliance planet, Inara will lose her license, everyone who’s ever worked with you will be offered a huge pile of money to turn you in. Durran was an Alliance bigshot, remember?”   
  
Mal could see Simon go pale behind Saffron. Things had been hot enough on Serenity with the Tams aboard. If this were true, they might as well find an unsettled planet and become turnip farmers. “That’s a generous warning, if it’s true. But somehow I doubt you’re telling us all this out of the goodness of your heart.”   
  
“Of course not.” She scoffed. “He’s got a file on me too. He may even have tracked down my real name. I want to hire your crew to go in there and get rid of it. All of it, on you and me.”   
  
“Why the hell would we trust any job you gave us after what happened last time?” Zoey asked, laughing.

“I’ll pay half in advance.” Saffron replied firmly. “And I’ll even let you lock me up to make sure I don’t try to sabotage you again. You can tie me up nice and snug and lock me in a cell until it’s done.”   
  
“Now, see, this is what happens when you kill or double cross everyone you work with.” Mal took to gloating. “You must be desperate to come to us with this. What, you couldn’t find anyone to hire who doesn’t already know who you are?”   
  
Saffron groaned. “Look, will you take the job, or not?”   
  
Mal shrugged. “We’ll think about it. Jayne, why don’t you tie up our guest here like she so generously suggested and throw her in the brig while we talk this over?”   
  
Jayne grinned like it was his birthday. “Of course, Mal.”   
  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Again, Mal?” Wash demanded irritably, once they’d all settled in to discuss the proposition. “You’ve really got to stop taking jobs from people you know want to kill you. It has the alarming habit of nearly getting  _ all of us _ killed.”   
  
“Don’t be so alarmist.” Mal replied. “She’s locked up and out of the way until we get rid of her, it doesn’t hurt to talk it over.”   
  
“My husband has a point.” Zoey told him firmly. “Saffron is nothing but bad news and we all know that.”   
  
“Next time I might not be there to save you.” Inara pointed out.    
  
“You were there because I told you to be there! It’s not like the plan broke down!” was Mal’s shouted retort.   
  
“Oh, so her stealing your clothes, and your shuttle, was part of the plan?” Jayne laughed   
  
Mal sighed. “It didn’t go smooth. But the job got done, we got paid. Now I like getting paid. It keeps gas in Serenity here and money in your pockets.”   
  
“Cap’n, if we do this, we oughta charge her for a tune up for Serenity in addition to the job itself. She’s always mucking with the electrics and it seems only fair she pay for it, for once.” Kaylee piped up.   
  
Mal gestured at her with a grin. “See, that’s the kind of constructive feedback I’m looking for. That, little Kaylee, is an excellent idea.”   
  
“I’d really prefer not to get stuck in my room for the next several weeks while we do this.” Simon said tiredly. “And I’m sure River isn’t looking forward to it either.”   
  
River, who had been rummaging around in the kitchen seemingly trying to cook something, shook her head. “No, I don’t mind. She can’t plan around what she doesn’t know.”   
  
Simon frowned. “No, you’re not getting involved in this at all, if we do it.”   
  
Mal glanced between the two of them. “Your sister may have a point, actually. We know how capable she can be. I wouldn’t mind having her stick around hidden away, just in case.”   
  
“This whole thing is  _ insane _ ,” Inara spoke up again, glaring at the Captain. “Mal, please tell me you’re not thinking of actually doing this. One of these days she’ll get the upper hand if we keep giving her chances.”   
  
“Well, I just don’t think we should rule it out.” He replied.   
  
Inara made a disgusted noise and turned to leave. “I’m not helping you this time. I mean it. I’ll be busy with work, anyway. You can come and find me if all of you  _ don’t _ wind up dead.”   
  
Kaylee had been sandwiched between the looming Captain and the Companion, and glanced nervously between them for a moment as she walked away, then went chasing after Inara. Mal was left to shake his head disapprovingly.   
  
“Inara, come on. Don’t be like that, please.” She begged   
  
Inara shook her head. “I can’t just sit there and listen to this. Don’t ask me to.”   
  
“Fine, I won’t.” Kaylee agreed sadly. “But can I come in with you for a bit? They won’t need me while they hash this out.”

“Of course.” Inara waved for Kaylee to go first into her private shuttle, then followed and locked the door behind them. “You’re always welcome here.”   
  
Kaylee stared at her in stunned silence, just smiling, only finding her voice again after nearly a minute. “Really? I’m always worried about coming in here n’ gettin’ engine grease all over your nice things.”   
  
“Well, I suppose if your clothes are covered in grease, you’d just have to take them off.” Inara replied. Immediately, her hand flew to her face, covering her mouth. She barely uncovered it to continue, “I… mean. To put on clean ones, of course.”   
  
Kaylee blushed and giggled. “Are you tryin’ t’ get me naked, Inara?”

“No, I just…” Her cheeks turned bright red.   
  
“I didn’t think Companions blushed.” Kaylee teased.   
  
“We usually don’t,” Inara admitted with a laugh. “There were classes on how to avoid exactly such fumbles. If the high priestess were here, she’d probably smack me with her fan.”   
  
“Wow, really? Whole classes, just fer that?” Kaylee asked, fascinated.   
  
“A Companion has to always be mindful of all possible meanings and implications of her words, to avoid misunderstandings or accidental offense.”   
  
“Wow. I can’t even imagine. But I’m guessin’ that comes in real handy with the snooty rich folks, huh?”

Inara laughed and nodded. “It does. Some of them are quite easily offended, and on certain planets, seemingly innocuous things can be very offensive. That was less important on Sihnon, but travelling like I do now it’s incredibly important to be aware of.”

“It must be nice, being so good with people.”    
  
“It can be, but sometimes it doesn’t do me as much good as I’d like.” Inara sighed and sat down beside the mechanic.

Kaylee’s face twisted with sympathy and distaste. “Like tonight, I bet.”   
  
“Exactly like tonight, yes. It’s maddening.”   
  
“You know, he’s doin’ it partly ‘cause of you,” Kaylee told her in a conspiratorial tone. “I heard Saffron talking to him earlier. She said we were all in danger, even you. Said you’d lose your license if we didn’t take care of this.”

Inara took a deep breath before looking over at Kaylee. “That... stubborn  _ wang ba dan _ . I am fully capable of judging risks for myself! If he would simply  _ talk _ to me instead of going all chivalrous. Or worse, grunting like a caveman, because he thinks he doesn’t have to argue with  _ me. _ I never asked him to protect me, nor wanted him to.”   
  
“I’m pretty sure he thinks he’s got to because it’s you,” Kaylee replied, a bit wistfully. “Everyone knows he’s all gooey eyed for you.”   
  
“I didn’t ask for  _ that _ either.” Inara replied firmly.   
  
“Well, I understand the impulse, anyway. You’re incredible. Smart, n’ sophisticated, and good with a gun even though the Cap’n doesn’t wanna admit it. And ah… well, beautiful, too. Who wouldn’t want to do everything they could for you?” Kaylee replied, going a bit pink again.   
  
Inara stared at Kaylee. After a while in silence, she leaned in some, resting her hands between them on the loveseat  _ just  _ close enough to make contact with the mechanic’s thigh. “You don’t have to do anything for me. You know that, right?”   
  
“Well, I guess I don’t  _ have _ to, but you’re amazing.” Kaylee replied, blushing even brighter this time.   
  
“So are you.” Inara spoke gently, stroking her hair. “All you have to do to win me over is... be yourself.”   
  
Kaylee’s mouth gaped open. “You ...you don’t mean..?”   
  
Inara didn’t reply, choosing instead to lean in and kiss her lightly. “Don’t get yourself killed because of Mal’s stupid idea, alright?”   
  
Kaylee nodded, biting her lip. “I won’t. I’m gonna come back and take you somewhere fancy with my share, okay?”   
  
Inara beamed at her. “I’d like that.”

\---------------------------------------------------

“If you get my wife killed, I will be very cross with you.” Wash told Mal grouchily, as the two of them approached Saffron’s cell, where she had been placed, thoroughly and inescapably bound.    
  
“Would you stop your worryin’? She won’t screw us a third time. I’m making sure of it, or I’m not taking the job,” Mal answered.   
  
“That’s what you said last time, too. It’s a pattern, and the track record is concerning, that’s all I’m saying.” Wash shrugged, glancing warily through the window into the cell. Saffron glared back at him and tried her best to gesture rudely despite her bonds. The pilot grimaced. “I don’t want to have to pick you up naked again, either.”   
  
“Wash, it’s going to be fine,” Zoe reassured her husband, approaching from a corridor feeding in from the opposite side of Serenity. “Are you ready, Sir?”

Mal nodded at her and Wash threw up his hands in surrender. “Alright, alright. I’ll leave you rough and tumble types to it.”   
  
“I’ll let you know what comes of this once we’re done,” Zoe assured him, as Wash turned to go, his hands still up above his head to indicate defeat. She called after him. “And make sure our bunk’s nice and tidy when I get back! I wanna be able to lay with my husband as soon as all this is settled!”

Wash’s wave became a thumbs up.   
  
As he and Zoe turned to the cell, Mal hesitated, sparing a glance over at her while keying in the code to open Saffron’s cell. “Are  _ you _ ready?”   
  
“Yes, I’m ready, and she’s still tied up. Let’s get in there before she gets loose.”   
  
Mal opened the door and they both walked inside, the door closing behind them. Zoe held her gun casually behind Mal, not quite pointed at Saffron but making it quite clear that it could be in a heartbeat.

“Well, well, you’re back for more,” Saffron crowed, seeming just as comfortable and confident as she would be if she  _ wasn’t _ bound up in a cell.   
  
Mal shrugged carelessly. “I’m a simple man. I like to take jobs where I know I’m going to get paid, especially what benefits me otherwise. Now I ain’t sure of the former, what with the previous double crossing, but I did confirm with a friend that you’re not entirely telling me a tale. So I figure I’ll hear you out properly, then give you a price.”

“And if I misbehave, Zoe will shoot me, is that it?”   
  
Mal and Zoe traded amused smiles. “That’s the idea, yes,” Zoe confirmed.

“Alright, then. I can play nice. This is a genuine job offer. No tricks. You were right before. I… don’t want anyone who doesn’t  _ already _ know me to get their hands on my file. I’d prefer for  _ no one _ to get their hands on that file, but you’ll have to do. You already know more than I want, and you’ve done nothing with it. Even though I keep trying to kill you.”   
  
Mal laughed. “So that’s the state of things. Durran actually got his hands on the truth.”   
  
“Some of it, anyway,” Saffron agreed with a scowl. 

“Alright, fine. You came to us because you think we’re yi nu de. Tell me more about the job itself.”

Saffron sighed. “There’s a bank on Albion. Top of the line security, no questions asked. You can’t even get in the door unless you’ve got a very, very large bank account. If you’ll check in my bag, I have the schematics I charmed off of a very gullible security technician.”   
  
Mal glanced at Zoey, who shifted to point her gun at Saffron, while Mal carefully stepped out of the cell to check the bag in a nearby locker where it was stashed. When he stepped back in a minute later, he held up the disc. “Is this what you’re referring to?”

“That’s the one. I can get you in the door with my credentials, but you’ll need that to find Durran’s safety deposit box and get into it. It should have everything you need, I only got it last week and security won’t have changed.”   
  
“Your credentials?” Zoey asked sharply   
  
“I have an account there. And a box of my own, which is where you’re to leave my file. The kind of rich folks who have accounts there tend to send representatives to deal with things, you’ll blend right in.” Saffron smiled. “I did half the job for you.”   
  
“At best, you did a quarter of the job. And by my account, you owe us for the last couple run ins. This is not going to be cheap,” Mal told her firmly.   
  
“Fine, fine. If it makes you feel better to charge me extra, by all means. I can swindle the whole fee out of some schmuck as soon as we’re done.”   
  
“Oh, good. I’ll have a look at these schematics with the crew, and I’ll be back with the price. Half up front, remember. We don’t budge toward Albion until the transfer goes through.”

Saffron groaned and nodded. “Fine. Go on. The longer we wait, the more likely he is to use what he knows, though. I’m doing you a favor, here.”   
  
“Sure, a favor. Out of the goodness of your heart. Of course.” Mal grinned sickly sweet, voice dripping with acid, and turned along with Zoe to leave.   
  
\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“So, can it be done?” Mal asked, voice carrying loud over Kaylee’s shoulder, gesturing to the schematics laid out on the computer screen.   
  
“I… think so?” Kaylee responded. “There’s a lot going on with the security there, but it can be… finagled a bit.”   
  
Zoe nodded. “I still don’t trust her, but this does seem doable.”   
  
“I don’t like it neither,” Jayne replied, scowling. “Remember what happened the last time we went to the Core? Gettin’ arrested like that and being chased by whatever that was, not my idea of a good time.”   
  
“They were after me,” River spoke up, and everyone turned to look at her, climbing out from inside a vent she was most  _ definitely  _ not supposed to be inside of. “Two by two... hands of blue. They’re still chasing me. It doesn’t matter where we go, they’ll show up eventually.”   
  
Jayne was the first one to break the silence that followed, glaring at River. “That ain’t a comfort. Why haven’t we tossed you out of an airlock yet?”   
  
Simon moved to stand in front of River protectively, but Mal beat him to it. “Only one we’re tossing out of an airlock is you if you keep talkin’ like that. You’re not coming on-planet, anyway, you don’t clean up well enough. You get to stay here and guard Saffron. Make sure she doesn’t escape and try to steal Serenity again.”

“Aw, Mal!”   
  
Mal met his eyes firmly, and Jayne backed down in a huff. “Fine. It’s probably going to be a boring job, anyway.”   
  
“I dunno, it sounds exciting to me!” Kaylee replied brightly. 

“That’s the spirit.” Mal smiled at her. “Especially as we may need you to come with us.”   
  
“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Simon asked with a frown.   
  
“It’s the best idea we’ve got,” Mal countered. “It’s a closed system. Kaylee’s gonna have to be there to get into the security system, let us go where we need to go.”

Kaylee grinned. “This is going to be fun! We get to act all fancy in there!”   
  
“It’s a job, little Kaylee. Don’t get too worked up about the nice clothes.” Mal told her firmly.   
  
She flapped a dismissive hand at him. “I know, I know. But someone has to enjoy them, and it’s sure not gonna be you.”   


Zoe laughed. “She has that right, Sir.”   
  
“Don’t you start.”   
  
“Wouldn’t dream of it.”   
  
Mal sighed and looked around the room. “Alright. Jayne, you’re on guard duty. Simon, she’s seen you, just stay in your little area and act natural. Alone, she ain’t got no reason to look at you twice. Wash, you’re here for a quick getaway if we need one. Zoe, Kaylee, you’re with me. Any problems?”   
  
Jayne looked like he might argue, but his face scrunched up in resignation, and he left the room. Everyone else agreed without a fuss.   
  
“Well then. We can get to Albion in a week. Let's get moving.” Mal nodded and stepped out of the room.   
  
“What about me?” River asked once he’d left, pushing away from the wall she’d been leaning on to chase him out into the hall.   
  
The Captain looked at her sharply. “What  _ about _ you? Last I checked, you don’t work unless things get really dire. No offense, but we can’t afford letting her clap eyes on you.”

River shook her head. “You know I don’t have to let anyone see me to help.”

“I’m not saying you’re not talented, but you ain’t  _ needed _ here.”   
  
“You really think  _ he _ can keep her locked away safe? What if she bribes him? We both know what happened last time the money was good enough.”

Mal raised a brow and stopped short, glaring at her. “You know about that?”   
  
“It wasn’t important. It isn’t important. Unless it is,” River shrugged gracefully. “He learned his lesson about us. But the wheel turns and turns and turns and someday he’s going to turn his way right out of this ship.”

“That day ain’t today. I’ll gag her. She can’t bribe him if she’s gagged.”

River looked at him pityingly. “You’ll see. I’ll keep an eye out.”   
  
“No, you’ll stay in your room.”

“I may well stay in her room but then for what, if the room doesn’t stay where it’s supposed to be? Should I be staying inside the room or where the room was when I was told to stay? It’s an important mathematical distinction, especially if the ship goes somewhere unexpected and I suddenly go pop outside in the black.” She laughed, as though what she’d said had been a great joke, instead of extremely unsettling. “Don’t you worry,  _ Captain _ , I’ll stay exactly where I’ll need to be to make sure the room doesn’t move.”   
  
River flitted away without another word, and Mal stared after her thoughtfully for a long moment.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A week later, when they reached Albion, everyone was where they were supposed to be. Simon was sorting cabinets full of medical supplies, Book quietly read his bible in the common area, Wash waited in the cockpit, Jayne was polishing Vera outside Saffron’s cell, and River, despite her previous arguments, was dancing happily in her room when Mal checked in one last time before they left.

The rest of them proceeded on to the job, leaving Serenity quietly parked in the bank’s lavish private dock. For Mal, Zoe, and Kaylee, things went uncommonly smooth. For once, the intel was good, no one showed up where they shouldn’t be to cause a fuss, and they didn’t run into anyone who wanted to kill them.   
  
On Serenity, however, things got a lot more complicated. 

Ten minutes into guard duty, Jayne caught a glimpse of Saffron squirming in a seemingly purposeful fashion, and made the questionable call to pick up Vera and step inside the cell to see what was going on. Once the door was open, Saffron shed her ropes and bashed his head so fast he didn’t have even a second to shoot her.   
  
She hesitated to pick up the gun, eyeing it thoughtfully. “So this is what you were going to trade for me? Maybe... I’ll keep it.”   
  
Jayne, being very much unconscious, could not object. Saffron locked him in the cell behind her and headed for the cargo bay, hefting Vera skillfully. She considered heading to the cockpit to try and knock out Wash to steal the ship, but trying to harm the ship had seemed to be her downfall before. She learned from her mistakes, and today the name of the game was to get out and be long gone before Mal returned.   
  
She could have laughed at how easy it was to get past their pet Shephard and the surgeon. It was almost embarrassing how simple this escape was. They’d only put one guard on her, and him? A top class idiot? Despite Mal’s insistent crowing that he’d learned his lesson, that she wouldn’t be able to pull one over on him again, she was getting exactly what she wanted.

It was only a few steps away from freedom that a thin little wisp of a girl stepped forward to stop her, blocking the button to open the door, and seemingly unafraid of the large gun she was carrying.

“We didn’t say you could leave,” The girl told her with a slightly manic smile. “It’s rude to go before the host has a chance to say goodbye. You want to be a good guest, don’t you?”   
  
Saffron glared at her. “Step aside. I won’t hesitate to shoot you.”   
  
“You will though,” She replied calmly. “You won’t shoot me. You don’t kill people.”   
  
Saffron laughed. “You have no idea how many people I’ve killed, kid. Move.”   
  
“You’ve sent them all to their deaths, yes, but you didn’t kill them yourself. You never kill them yourself. You say it’s just more convenient, but really, you like to believe you’re not a murderer.” The odd girl smiled at her and held out a hand. “Also, it’s rude to steal. Please give the gun back.”   
  
“It’s rude to talk back to someone pointing a gun at your head, too,” Saffron growled. “ _ Move. _ ”   
  
“Nope. I’m just going to stay here. Right here. You need to be here. You really, really don’t want to be out there.”   
  
“Yes, I do,” Saffron snarled, and fired a warning shot just over the girl’s shoulder, above and to the left of her head.   
  
“No, you don’t. Your ride never came. You’d be stranded.”   
  
“There’s absolutely no way you could know that.” Saffron spat, but hesitated in spite of herself. What if the girl was right?   
  
“I am right. I know all kinds of things. So many things. I could tell you the name of every person in that bank. Though that would take a while and be really, really boring.” The girl stuck her tongue out. “Did you know there are twenty two people in that building named Simon? Their parents were really unoriginal. Such a common name, for common boring people.”   
  
“What do I care about their names? Just move.”   
  
“I know your names too. Saffron. Yolanda. Bridget. Melanie. Adele. Prudence. Symphony. Luna. Ariel. So many more. Why do you have so many? Do you even know which one is real anymore?”   
  
“I don’t have a real name anymore,” The con woman growled, trying not to let her shock show. “Shut up.”

“But why would I shut up?” She spun around in place, grinning up at the ceiling. “There are so many things to say, and it would be much less interesting if we just stood here not talking.”   
  
“Or you could just… move,” Saffron replied tiredly. “And let me get off this damn garbage heap.”   
  
“No, Serenity is a good ship.” The girl told her firmly, petting the wall. “I was inside of her once. I became her. We understand each other now. She wants you to stay.”

“Serenity isn’t a person, she’s a rustbucket. Ships don’t have feelings.”   
  
“Everything has feelings,” The girl insisted. “Even you. Even though you don’t want to and you keep trying to burn them out of yourself.”   
  
“The only feeling I have right now is  _ frustration. _ ” Saffron snapped.   
  
“No, you’re also sad. And kind of relieved. And hungry. The Captain didn’t feed you much.”   
  
“All the more reason for you to let me go. I’ll have a big lunch, just for you, sweetie.”   
  
“Mmm, no. Jail doesn’t feed people much better. Even on a Core planet.”   
  
“I’m not going to jail, you damn brat.”   
  
“Of course not. Because you’re going to stay here, and then we can take you somewhere safe to drop you off, after you pay us.”   
  
“I haven’t even done anything illegal on this planet!” Saffron argued. “They’ve got no reason to arrest me.”   
  
“Mmm, that was before a group of people with your account credentials triggered the alarm. They’re going to get out fine, but if you show up, they’ll arrest you for enabling them.”   
  
“They did what? Those incompetent  _ morons _ .”   
  
The girl smiled. “Oh, no. They did it intentionally. Did you think they  _ wouldn’t _ make sure you couldn’t turn this on them again?”

Saffron hoisted the gun up and aimed it at the girl’s head again, more resolved this time “For the last time, move, or I’ll blow your fucking head off.”   
  
Of course, that was when the door opened to Mal, Zoe, and Kaylee, the former two aiming  _ their _ guns at Saffron. “You won’t be shootin’ anyone. Put the gun down... nice and easy-like,” Mal ordered.   
  
Saffron groaned and put Vera down. “How many random assholes do you have on this damn ship, Mal? Where are you even keeping them?”   
  
He laughed. “I bring them on special to deal with you. Feisty little thing, isn’t she?”   
  
When Saffron looked back in the direction of the odd girl, she was already halfway up the stairs. “Ugh. Just... drop me off somewhere and you’ll get your payment.”

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Two days later, when Inara returned, Saffron was gone and the crew (other than Jayne, who was now the butt of everyone’s joke) were all in high spirits. Kaylee was waiting at the shuttle door to greet her, face lit up with happiness and excitement   
  
“Don’t tell me you actually pulled it off?” She asked Kaylee   
  
“We did. And this time she didn’t hurt Serenity  _ or _ embarrass Mal. I got to help them rob a bank!”   
  
Inara waved Kaylee inside with a relieved smile. “I’m glad it all went so well. I was worried about what she might do to you all.”   
  
“To us all, or to me?” Kaylee asked, trying to be flirtatious but mostly coming off as nervous.   
  
“Mostly to you.” Inara confirmed. “I can’t stand the thought of anything happening to you.”   
  
“Aw, I’m alright.” Kaylee beamed at her and stepped closer. “I promised you I wouldn’t let her get the better of me, remember?”   
  
“I do remember,” Inara breathed. “But mostly I remember something else about that night.”   
  
She blushed. “Yeah, that was… I remember that too. It was nice. Can we do it again?”   
  
Inara laughed. “Yes, I was hoping we would.” She replied, then gently leaned in to kiss Kaylee

Kaylee returned the kiss eagerly, wrapping her arms around the other woman. They might’ve spent quite a while like that, except for a sound that made both of them jump apart.   
  
Mal, in the doorway, clearing his throat.   
  
“I… uh. Didn’t mean to interrupt.” He told them awkwardly. “Thought I should let you know I saw, since I did. Sorry.”   
  
“Mal, how many times have I told you not to just walk into my shuttle?” Inara scolded with a sigh.   
  
“Well…. Enough, I think. I wouldn’t have guessed it, but I don’t begrudge the two of you some alone time. I just wanted to let you know that things went well and we’re all just fine.”   
  
“Captain?” Kaylee asked, blushing but firm.   
  
“Yes?” He asked politely.   
  
“Please go away. Please.”   
  
Inara laughed, and Mal looked chastened. “Right. Yes. Sorry. I’ll leave you to your… that.”

  
He left in a hurry, only to hear River’s laugh behind him.   
  
“Don’t you start. I had no way of knowin’ what I’d be walking into there.”   
  
“I know.” River replied with a grin. “But you thought you’d get out of this one with your dignity intact.”   
  
“I have plenty of dignity!” Mal protested. “And I’d much rather let it slip here than in front of  _ her.” _ _   
_ _   
_ River shrugged. “She’s not so bad, really.”   
  
“Not so bad? She’s tried to murder us all. Repeatedly.”   
  
“Sure. But she didn’t even care about turning me in.” River shrugs. “There are things worse than dying, after all.”   
  
“I suppose so.” He eyed River warily. “Just be more careful next time about letting someone see you. You got lucky with Saffron.”   
  
“I know, I know. Don’t worry  _ guh guh. _ ” She smiled at him and wandered off without another word.

**Author's Note:**

> I had a lot of fun writing this, and I maaaay have gone a little bit overboard. I thought it would be really fun to tackle as many of your prompts as possible, and Saffron returning only to get thwarted by River seemed like a really fun premise, which of course needed effectively a whole episode to properly play out


End file.
